Demons, Schizophrenia, Relationships, Jammin on the 1 and kickball with Jesus

I'm using this thing to chronicle some weird events that have happened to me. Hopefully by writing them they can make more sense, and it's also fun to do research online about them. This is one I don't tell a lot of people. it sounds stupid and crazy, I know...but here goes....

   I sub-leased a warehouse apartment in the summer of '01. I use the term “apartment” loosely. It was really just a 5, 000 sq. foot warehouse where half of it was plastic ed off and fully furnished. The other half was open space, concrete walls and damp darkness. I had answered an ad on the bulletin board at Otherlands, A girl was going to be traveling for two months and needed help to off set her rent while she was gone. I was in a desperate situation, for I was on the outs with my long term girlfriend and had been alternating between sleeping in the basement of the restaurant I worked at and sleeping on the floor at our recording studio. The short term arrangement was perfect for me because I would be leaving for Europe tour in two months anyway. It seemed to be one of those perfect synchronicities: “fate”, if you will.
   I can't recall how long I spent there, just me and my dog and cat before the “incident” happened. I had enjoyed my stay there up until this point, riding my bike around in the warehouse and then outside through the downtown summer streets and going to shows at the Tree of Woe or the People's Temple and then walking back home.

     I was sleeping one night when I was suddenly awaken by the feeling of a presence in the room with me. I actually felt a pressure on my chest. I opened my eyes to the sight of a giant serpent, stretching in to the room from the pitch black warehouse part of the apartment. Its long body was straight, parallel to my body, hovering only a foot above me. Right above my crotch the creature arched up to the high ceiling and then back down to where it's face was only inches from my face. The serpent had a hood like a cobra. It's eyes were pools of fire and fire spilled from it's mouth as well. The thing whispered and shouted at the same time in a voice that sounded like 1000 different voices layered on top of one another but slightly off time from each other. The serpent told me I was weak. It told me that I would die old and alone and that I needed to run back to the comfort of my failed relationship. It told me I would die loveless...and then in an instant...it was gone. I looked over at the clock and it was 3am, dead nuts. I got out of bed, shaking and sweating, got on my bike and rode around downtown until dawn...too afraid to go back to the warehouse.

   Every night that I stayed there afterwards I woke up at EXACTLY 3AM, and with the feeling of that presence. Not long after that the army of fleas moved in off the alleyway. My animals were treated so the fleas just fed on me. I would walk in and feel a thousand tiny pin pricks all at once as they jumped on me and sucked my blood. Apparently, a flea still drinks the blood of those that wouldn't harm a flea. I didn't stay at that apartment for much longer after that. I opted for staying in the spare bedroom at my mom's which was a fate only slightly less scary than a demon. I've always used the term “demon” to describe what I saw, although I describe it to few people because it sounds foolish. It sounds like a dream, but I remember being awake...I remember details about the thing as vividly as I remember that one Cosby show episode where Stevie Wonder came to visit (Jammin' on the One).

I had had some experience dealing with a schizophrenic before who said he saw demons. My friend Wesley Willis had two demons that shouted at him in his head: “Nervewrecker” and “Heartbreaker”. We gave up ever trying to tell Wes that there were no demons, it seemed so real to him that I had to wonder...what if they were real? What is the nature of a demon? Wes's demons shouted his fears at him, told him things like that he was going to go to jail, that he was going to be a bum on the street  or that he wouldn't be able to play rock music anymore. The thing I saw shouted something at me which was apparently a fear of mine at the time. The difference is, I had never had a schizophrenic episode before, had never seen anything like that before or since. I was not under the influence of hallucinogens. I may have been drunk when I went to bed, but was certainly not when I awoke.

   If it was a demon, why would it use something so trivial as my fears about love to scare me? Wouldn't the presence of a demon alone be able to provoke in me fears of eternal damnation and demonic forces? Wouldn't the fear of a monster be greater than the fear of lonliness? Someone told me recently that my sexuality and my spirituality are closely intwined. That same person also asked me: “Would you die for someone you loved?” “Yes”, I said. “And can you imagine a life not worth living?” “Yes”, I said again. “Well then, you value love more than life”. Could I call it a waking vision when I've never had one similar to it? I've even asked a few people whether they thought the place was haunted, but I don't think anyone else ever had a supernatural experience there.

   I used to call those things inside of me that were my biggest faults my demons. Everyone has them. I used to call my restless spirit my Demon of Discontent. I thought of it as a great obstacle I had to overcome, but age taught me that it was really a good thing. It pushed me to strive for more...to achieve ultimate. I thought at one point that I had a demon of lust. Turns out I'm just a healthy, horny male.

I've rarely told this story because it sounds crazy, but recently I've been doing research on demons online. This appears to be a somewhat common experience. I found discussion forums where people talk about being visited by entities and "serpent demons". I even found this:

"The Black Serpent (Kaala Naag) is the third in the hierarchy of ghosts in ascending order as per their spiritual strength. T About 10% of the world’s population is affected or possessed by them in the present times."


So what do I make of all this? I don't know. nothing. I'm probably just insane. I'm still a skeptic and an agnostic. I have never heard a peep out of Jesus. You're gonna have to step it up Jesus if you want me on your kick ball team because the demons are gunning for me. And no one likes being picked last.