The world is my bible....

Hey! Guess what? People have been studying the bible and arguing about it's meaning since the thing was written. People can use it to agree with whatever their particular slant is and then damn you to hell for eternity for whatever it is you are doing that they don't agree with. I like to think of the bible as spirituality for dummies. Let's discuss.


spirituality is that which relates to or affects the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things. 


The problem with discussing spiritual matters is that most texts on the subject are clouded by culture, or the want of power or mental influences. If one understands we are all intrinsically entwined with each other at our cores, all a part of this great oneness some people call god then it seems elementary to me that the best way to deal with spiritual matters is within...to shed the things that encumber our minds and to FEEL what is right or wrong. Some people call this meditation, others prayer, but I think generally spiritual truth is goddamn common sense. For instance...

Some of the "spiritual truths" in the bible. The Golden Rule for instance. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". No shit, Sherlock. I figured that out when I was 4. Did I need Jesus to tell me that? No, I learned it when some shitty kid took my Transformer and it made me feel like ass. How about the 10 commandments. Don't steal, don't kill, don't be jealous, don't fuck people's wives. What sort of idiot bumbles through life without feeling the results of most or all of these things happening to them without realizing it sucks?

Yes, my spirituality is based on human experience, because you can't argue with how things make you feel in the core of your soul, dumbass. I don't need a fucking bronze age bore-a-thon soap opera to teach me that. There are spiritual lessons around us at all times, every day. You're fucking stupid.

One of the reasons I've been thinking about this is the abortion issue. I think pro lifers are fucking dumb. You wanna know why? because you're getting all up in arms over that issue, but there is terrible shit going on all around you that you are ignoring. The world's population just reached 7 billion. We are destroying the planet and multiplying at a rate that is speeding us towards disaster. Yeah, abortion bothers you but you probably love driving to corporate wastelands like the wolfchase area and buying shiny shit for your dumb brain. How much of the world have you experienced as the way it should be before man pissed all over it? You ever hike into the back country of Yellowstone or Yosemite? You ever hiked in to the Grand Canyon? Have you ever gone to a place untouched by man and sat and listened, and truly felt the earth and your place in it? Probably not. You watch TV. You get your spirituality spoon fed to you the same way you do your entertainment. You've probably never been brave enough to question or wrestle with all the things you've been told, because you're a scared pussy. It's true. It is scary starting from scratch, to realize most people's motivations for telling you stuff is based on their fears and their need for power and control. It IS scary to say "I don't know" and then have to go through all the effort to find out. It actually takes *gasp* work.

 So the world is fucked and the system we have is shitting all over everything and enslaving people and you're gonna tell them they need to keep on breeding. I know some people who stand out in front of Planned Parenthood with signs and you know what? They come from a loving family. They are not living in poverty. but they're gonna stand out there and make people whose situation they do not know feel like shit in an already hard time. They're gonna tell someone from the hood that already has 3 kids that they're wrong if they decide to terminate. Fucking entitled white people trying to tell everyone how awesome the world is and how much God loves us and having more kids is rad. Well, I say fuck that.
I've listened to the core of my being to find out if it's wrong for me. It's not. It may be wrong for you and that's fine. Quit trying to control everyone's fate because when the shit goes down, you're not there to help them. They have to deal with their path on their own. If you don't like abortion, then why not try and fight some of the reasons people have them. Like poverty. Go fucking take care of poor people, instead of just trying to appear self righteous on a street corner. Go pass out condoms to High School kids. Go adopt. Just shut the fuck up about it. And don't quote me bible passages and argue your stupid mythology to me and say you know the true voice of god. God's voice could be in anything at anytime and most of the time it is voiceless, beyond voice. Feel what you know is right or wrong.

Spirituality is where true altruism lies because, when you discover our spiritual connectedness you discover the idea of a greater good. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things for the greater good. We need to figure out how to get things on the right path before we wantonly create more people in spite of our circumstances because we found it impossible to curb millions of years of survival instinct in our urges to procreate. You know what? I'd like to have some kids. Love to, in fact but I'm fucking dirt ass poor and I'm not in a stable situation where it would be a good idea, so I won't. I'm not gonna drag someone through life when I'm totally unprepared because Ward and June Cleaver told me that everything is gonna turn out rad and that god is gonna love me and take care of me forever. It may not. God may shit all over me. It sometimes does, so I'm not gonna count on it. I'll fucking do it when I know I'm ready. I weigh out all the options and in spite of the fact that I want to have kids, it would make my situation shittier which would make my kid's situation shitty and shitty situations equal shitty people. I didn't have to read that from a book, you fucking troglodyte. You're not smart enough to tell me what to do. Isn't there something dumb on TV you should be watching? When you've been brave enough to do some soul searching and wrestle with your spirituality and come up with an original idea that no one had to tell you, then you can sit at the adults table and have an enlightened discussion. Bitch.

The creature in my chest

Recently, a friend asked me why I haven't published any blog posts lately. Actually, this is a person that I've never actually met, but we bonded over my stupid writings. She said that she needed something to read on her boring lunch breaks. I never really intended this to be entertainment. I write as therapy, and lately I had this feeling like I've never felt before. Fulfillment.
You see, I've been doing what I felt like I was born to do. Making movies in the woods with people I love and respect. The setting was perfect, the action and the company. But as I sit idle on a break I am overcome with what something that I should look at as an old friend. A near crippling anxiety churns in my guts as if i'm hosting one of the little creatures from the Alien movies. I feel as if I could vomit. I want to crawl under my covers and die. I want to get in my truck and drive as far as the money in my pocket will take me.
   I think it's amusing to hear people's perceptions of me. Often it's so far from reality that it's amusing. People tell me all the time that i come off conceited and cocky. The truth is I've always been driven by this anxiety. It's a self loathing. I'm always pushing toward the horizon because in my mind my self worth is always tied up in what I create. I always feel that I will love myself once I accomplish X, or I will be happy when I can achieve Y. I guess that's what separates me from the truly arrogant is that in my mind I am an insignificant piece of shit. I'm not looking for reassurance. Sometimes I think this is a virtue. Striving keeps me alive. But at the same time this anxiety is also a sickness. It's a blessing an a curse. I can never rest on my laurels because I never feel that what I'm accomplishing is worth a shit. I'll always be striving.
   I have a friend that told me: "a lot of people think you're a mediocre actor, but I think you're really good". I've never thought I was a good actor. But I want to be. I'm hungry for it. I'll never be satisfied. I've never thought I was good at any of this. But i want to be. I'm trying....
   Recently I had one of those brief moments of clarity where I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. Those are so rare, like the sun peeking through dark clouds, and I basked in this feeling while it lasted. It's amazing how I've learned to take happiness with my guard up. I look at happiness with distrust, always ready to get punched in the face at any time. I guess it's been learned over time. there's no ideal situation. Everything has teeth. You can take nothing for granted. Everything that can go wrong will eventually. I guess the key is to learn to enjoy the ride for both the ups and downs. Every fucking fall I took helped me to better stand. So why cant I enjoy the falls too? If I regret no pain I ever felt, why can't I just let my guard down? What's the source of the anxiety? I've seen the cycles and I understand they all come around. If I distrust happiness in anticipation of pain then why cant i distrust pain as well? Is pain greater than joy?
Ultimately, maybe this anxiety is a survival instinct. maybe it's what keeps me alive. Maybe it's the thing that has saved me from the fates of so many of my friends that didn't strive and gave up and lost their lives. I don't think I'm better than anyone and even if I did I know the universe doesn't give a fuck. The universe treats a million dollars and a pile of shit the same in the end. It'll all wash away from memory. The universe owes us nothing, but it doesn't mean we can't collect.
I know what'll kill it. I've got songs to write and movies to make. My brain is like an amp feeding back to drown out all the bullshit. That's all this is is feedback. Like the Tim Barry song says: "just know I won't go easy, man I'll kick and punch til there's nothing left". My creative output is just kicking and punching. I'm not here to entertain and I really don't give a fuck if anyone reads this or not. I write it for me. Not because I think I'm awesome but because I don't.
I guess the thing I had my guard up against most is myself. All the doubt and fears come from somewhere inside myself. All my chains are fashioned by myself and I take responsibility for all of them.

Names shmames

I had this great convo with a friend today. We agreed on some stuff and disagreed on some stuff. We never argued. We considered each other's points of view because we had a mutual respect and could tell that the other had put some thought in to their opinion. We both agreed that neither of us could be considered "right wing" or "left wing", "conservative" or "liberal". We may swing either way depending on the subject or believe something that doesn't fit rightly into either. That's right. My ideas, thoughts and feelings are so complex that they cannot be boxed in. Most people are simpletons, and just choose a box without doing much thinking and then will viciously attack you defending those ideas that someone else thought of.
   My friend went on to tell me of a guy who was offended by the title of my blog: "My War with God". If the guy had ever read my blog and tried to comprehend what he was reading he would have found that, in a lot of ways the idea was meant to be ironic...and in other ways it would have been better to say "My struggle with other people's ideas of God". The guy would have seen that it was thoughts and ideas on a number of topics from my life that i summed up as a spiritual struggle...or perhaps more like a spiritual journey. Which we are all on, but I try to be conscious of my spiritual journey and guide it. Most people are just sitting in their recliners eating cheetoes and watching nascar. I'm trying to think, to learn and to grow. To wrestle with the ideas I've been fed and test them instead of blindly accepting. Why would we ever have to argue over the truth?
   I've found that, just as I can not be easily defined politically, I cannot be easily defined spiritually either. Perhaps if the people who judge me were to really hear what I'm saying they would understand that I hold many "christian" values. Here's a small piece of what I believe:
   If we were all created from 1 God, wouldn't god want us to honor and respect all that he created? I don't believe he would want us drawing up divisions against one another. Because the divisions don't matter. If no label you could ever try and put on ME will do any justice to the complexity that is within me, how can any Label do justice to the complexity of god? How do the words jesus or allah or yaweh do any justice to the thing that created the universe? That is all things and is within all things? How can those paltry syllables, these faces of men do any glory to that which is all encompassing? Those are just syllables. The language that should be important is the language of your spirit which is beyond words and names. In death, all these words and names will be washed away.
   I got frustrated on the 4th of july. I heard a lot of words of pride and patriotism. Well, I believe pride is a sin isn't it? And what are you proud of? Being born on a particular spot of land in a particular time? You didn't do anything. It made me think of children drawing circles around themselves on a playground. If Jesus came to earth right now would he call himself an American or would he view all life as his father's children? The names are what divides us.
Me and a friend had some words on the 4th. She asked me what I was doing to change things. It made me think a lot. I believe that we need to grow beyond our petty divisions of nationalism, class, sex, race and religion and try to solve our real problems. Every day I try and think for myself instead of just accepting what I'm told. I changed the name of my blog because it just doesn't fucking matter. These are just ideas, and they will change and grow and expand and they don't fully define me no matter how hard I try. So, I'm sorry to all those I offended. From now on, I won't rock the boat. 'cause that's how shit really gets done. Blind acceptance is what this world needs, by golly. This will be the new me. I will throw as many boxes and labels on myself as i can find and will stop all this "thinking" and "researching" and "questioning". Boy am I glad. all that shit was hard work. Can you pass the cheetos? Is wrestling on?

on dating crazy people....

I always hated it when dudes say stuff like "All bitches be crazy". I knew this was of course, not true. Yes, there are differences in the way men and women are wired and sometimes things clash. Sometimes I wonder if even the clashes are part of the overall plan...like maybe there comes a time when we're supposed to be repulsed by each other. Maybe the idea of a family unit is something man made up, but nature had an entirely different plan. I think about stuff like that all the time...how our system of morality is directly at odds with the way our natural instincts tell us to act. Which one is right? The higher self versus the lower self. God vs. the Devil...the devil not being evil in this case but just an adaptation of the great god Pan, lord of bestial urges....

Here lately, though I've encountered true insanity in my involvements with women. At least, I think it is. The most recent episode was insanity without a doubt and it makes me wonder....is insanity becoming more prevalent with the times? How do these people function in the real world? Last night I tried to use reason on an insane person. it never works. You know someone is insane when you could illustrate the most well thought out and reasonable idea and they counter with the one thing they are stuck on. Last night I spoke calmly and made sense while someone just looked me in the eye and repeated "you're a piece of shit". I had a crazy ex who would always answer "you're attacking my character". I could make a power point presentation of reason and logic with graphs and pie charts and in no way be attacking her character and she would just repeat "you're attacking my character". Someone else I know says "don't threaten me". Arguing with a crazy will just wear you out.

   Another person I was involved with recently had a conversation with me and then several hours later denied ever having that conversation. She did a lot of other things and at some point i told her she was batshit crazy. I'm not 100% sure she is, though. I think sometimes people are manipulative and unaware of it. It reminds me of that book, the Celestine Prophecy. Now, think what you will about that book and there is definitely some hippy dippy bullshit in there but the part about "control dramas" is right on. Basically, if every interaction between humans is an energy exchange, people develop involuntary methods of gaining energy in different situations and feeling victorious over others and generally they don't even know they're doing it. People learn these from their parents, mostly. There are 4 main ways people draw energy from others in this manner: intimidating, interrogating, playing a victim and being aloof. I sincerely believe in these. When I would argue with the specific girl I'm talking about I would feel drained, like my soul was being sucked out of my body. I honestly don't believe she is a bad person and I believe she was unaware she was doing it. It was just something she had developed in her life, and I am just sensitive to those kinds of things. I have consciously recognized this behavior and made an effort to stop it in my own life. That's why my threshold for dealing with people's bullshit is so small. I am not interested in playing gross power games with anyone. I will walk the fuck away in an instant.
Then there was the last real relationship I was in. you know, the one where she did a 180 degree personality switch and then told me Jesus told her to break up with me. I saw her months later and she had a ring with a cross on her ring finger to remind her that she was "married to Jesus". If that's not insane, what is?

   Why do I care? I had a friend tell me recently that I cared too much about this kind of shit. Of course, he's happily in a relationship while I'm out courting the nation's lunatics. I go back and forth between thinking it's weak to even care about relationships and that yes, those are something that a person needs in their life. I can't lie, it'd be nice to be appreciated and to have someone to make sticky love to on the regular....and also like the Articles of Faith song says: "Stop your bitching. That's what you want. Someone to hold you in the night when you lose your guts". You see, I try really fucking hard. I look around and see most people with no goals, no purpose, no sense of destiny. People just working to eat cheetos and watch wrestling and get a nut every night. I'm fighting everyday to accomplish what I feel I'm supposed to do. I have sacrificed many forms of security and stability to let it all ride on what I believe is ultimate. I refuse to live a mediocre existence. I'm constantly seeking to fulfill myself mentally, physically and spiritually an have been relentless. It'd be nice to feel appreciated. To have someone say "I see what you're trying to do and it's honorable, now make sexy explosion on my boobs". Instead, I generally get dismissed. "he's an asshole", "he fucked me once and never did again", "he didn't fuck me and I'm mad". I bust my ass to not be mediocre and you put me in a box. Fuck you in the face.

   There's this scene in the movie IP man, about the guy that popularized Wing Chun and was a mentor to Bruce Lee...Ip man just fucked up 10 dudes all at once. He comes home and his wife sees his bloody hands and starts silently bandaging them. That's what I need. Someone to bandage my bloody hands after I fight against the world. Someone to be cool water for my boiling brain. Is it weak to want that? Maybe. But I'm also here to enjoy my life. Fuck you haters. In the face.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to complete myself. I'm very introspective and always try to be complete from within. If my destiny is to go it alone, then fine. Honestly, all the insane people have burnt me out. I'll go back to trying to make shit happen for myself. In reality, I see so many people I know with fucked up marriages and relationships and I wonder why I would want any part of that. You can always learn to be happy by yourself, but you could smash your head into the wall of a bad partnership for a lifetime until you finally realized it's futile and you wasted so much time and energy. One thing you can not get back is time.

but sometimes I remember the good times I had in my life when my relationships were good and I long for that feeling....like trying to remember a song you once loved or your favorite food that you haven't eaten in years....I've just gotten so good at being by myself, and I'll stand for no bullshit. Maybe it's me that's gone insane. Maybe everyone else is normal. What I think is funny is all the people that tell me how sensitive I am. My friends that make fun of me and jokingly call me emo an shit like that. Usually they are always in relationships, snuggling up with their special boos behind closed doors. I'm not afraid to go it alone. I see the weakness and desperation in so many of your relationships. Maybe that's why I'm attracted to crazies. Maybe subconsciously I know it'll be easy to get the fuck on down when I need to. Go ahead and make fun of me for being sensitive. The proof is in the pudding. I will drop some cold blooded shit on a crazy person before I will put up with any amount of bullshit just to feel validated. Also, you need to work on your reading comprehension. I look at things from several sides. Nothing is black and white. Now, go have an argument or watch a romantic comedy or something and I'll go do something awesome.

The River

I'm a piece of shit. Fucking hypocrite asshole. Part of the problem.

Me and Hooper set our kayaks in the Wolf River at Walnut Grove. Our plan was to float all the way to the Mississippi and check out the floodwaters. The day was overcast and unseasonably chilly. I noticed all the trees than had been knocked down. A few weeks earlier the Wolf had been higher than I'd ever seen it. We saw huge dams of trees and limbs piled up against the bridge pylons and a fair amount of trash, but not too bad.
   We explored some of the creeks that flowed in to the Wolf. We found a trot line that someone had run across one of these creeks with several large catfish attached to it, one weighing up to 12 lbs, old and scarred. I wondered if the guy that had run the trot line could also skin a buck and plow a field all day long....

  As we floated down we thought about what an under utilized resource this was. Why don't more people boat this river? I mean, yes, it's dirty but there was enough nature to give me that serene feeling I get when I get out to the woods. I started to think about what it must have been like for the natives that lived here and paddled up and down the river. The river would have given them everything they needed. There was fish, there was game...we saw beavers and a deer swim across the river in front of us. I thought about how man was intrinsically entwined to rivers. The first civilizations sprung up because of rivers, and now it was a great toilet bowl. The natives had the right idea. To me, what they had was true freedom. I am not an American. America as we no it is not my idea of freedom. Freedom to me is not owning anything...it is living in a world where everything is provided all around us. This is the way the world used to be before it was conquered. Capitalism does not equal freedom. We're all slaves. Everyday I have to work to pay the tax man, the insurance man, the oil man. At one point, one could just exist....
   We stopped and ate our lunches at Kennedy park in Raleigh that backs right up to the river. There was a picnic area that looked like it had not been maintained in years. A burnt down pavilion, a dilapidated playground that made me think of lost innocence. I wondered if roving gangs of kids still roamed these woods like my friends and I did when we were kids or if they were all transfixed by tvs and computers now. Just another way that the last of the beauty of the world will be stolen right out from under us while we're all checking our facebook statuses.
   The river became more swollen the farther down we got and became more stagnant. This is because the Mississippi was pushing back up into it. This is where the trash got unbelievable. We weaved through the forests in our boats and the trash stretched on for miles. Every manner of plastic and Styrofoam drink container, sports balls, 50 gallon drums....and hundeds of thousands of plastic bags. My pictures do the amount of trash we saw no justice. The water began to stink and we saw dead fish...I wondered about all the trash I've created in my life. I've been recycling as long as it's been easily available...but how many tons of trash have I created? and how much resources does it take to recycle? Is it really worth it in the end?
   I had a friend the other day arguing with me about how rad capitalism was. I posted something funny about BP and he said some dumb right wing shit like "If you don't like it move to China or Cuba". Here was the result of capitalism stretched before me. Fast food and Soda sells like almost nothing else and there is no true value in it. It's bad for our bodies and bad for the environment. It is only worth a moment of indulgence. In the end, we're paying to kill ourselves.
   We paddled up on an asphalt business that was totally flooded. The water really stank and the rainbows from petroleum covered the surface of the water.
   I've heard a lot about the tragedy of the flood. about how people are losing their homes and jobs. It's not a tragedy to me. This is the river's territory. The river has always been here and will be here long after we are gone. We encroached on it. It showed us who's boss.
   I started thinking of life as a river. You can try to control it and build up your treasures in spite of it, but it can swallow up all you think you've gained in an instant. It's best to steer yourself around on it, but ultimately navigate it's twists and turns and learn to take what it provides you. Everything we need is on that river and always has been. And trying to go backwards always ends in futility.
   After 10 hours we finally ht the Mississippi and I got to see it from a perspective that I never had before. It made me feel small and insignificant.
   I know that I never want to buy another drink in a plastic bottle again. I think everyone should have to float the river and really see what we hath wrought. The Wolf is a small river, just one of the thousands of small waterways that drain into the Mississippi and in to the ocean. There's an island of trash in the Pacific twice the size of Texas. We have to stop. Now. You surely can't eat fish out of the Wolf river or Mississippi and soon you won't be able to eat it out of the ocean. That's capitalism at work. That's why it's doomed to fail eventually, but not before destroying everything.
   People preach to me all the time. People that probably spent their Sunday morning's in church. I spent my Sunday trying to enjoy the earth that god gave to us, but it was hard. You can't scare me with visions of a fiery afterlife. I believe we are creating a poisonous, fiery hell right here on earth with our sins. We will create hell out of paradise, and several generations down the line there will be no enjoyment of life at all...
   So what can I do? I myself, can only change my own behavior and try to help other people see what we are creating. I know that one trip down the river opened my eyes to a lot of things and forever changed me....

My steed licks the blood from my steel

I don't know if it's like this for all writers, but it's like taking a shit to me. It just has to come out or it will build up toxic in my guts. I've been wanting to spew diarrhea with my keyboard, but I've been speeding down the highway and too busy to hit a rest stop. Besides, the last time I hit a rest stop to take a shit I was listening to my headphones and tapping my feet along with the music and next thing i know a big homosexual trucker/ bear guy bursts in and starts sucking my cock. After 10 minutes or so I made him stop. it was starting to tickle.

   But really, the last few weeks have been a blur. A couple weeks ago I took a job for a week as a production assistant on the show "Celebrity Apprentice". One of the celebrities on the show is a very well known country singer, who I won't name but if you watch the show, it'll be obvious. If you haven't (I haven't watched it. TV is for fucktards) it has something to do with Donald Trump and famous people competing for a cash donation to go to a charity that they are sponsoring. A crew from the show came through town because the country guy's charity is St. Jude Children's research hospital.
   I picked up the crew at the airport and we went to st Jude to meet country dude. seemed like a nice enough fella. I was vaguely aware of his music. My knowledge of mainstream country stops with Dwight Yoakum. He walked around the hospital and talked with kids and then played a concert for about 50 people or so. Afterwards the crew got on some dude's private jet and flew to Nashville while me and drew Fleming drove the van with the gear.
   Pulling in to Nashville, we stopped at country guy's house to pick up him and the crew. By far the most baller ass house I've ever seen. A $14 million dollar structure made of concrete and steel. pool on the roof. bar in the elevator. Also in the elevator are pictures of him and Johnny cash, him and Merle Haggard, Him and Willie Nelson. Holy shitballs. The room we're hanging out in is actually a small club, with a full bar, stage with badass sound system, mezzanine, huge window looking out at the Nashville skyline.
   We go to this authentic Italian restaurant and drop $1300 on appetizers and drinks. Everybody on the crew is cool as shit. total bro down. Afterwards, we hit several bars. At a bar with karaoke, I slayed some Johnny Cash. wishing country dude would have noticed and given me a record deal. I'm sick of working. I went back early to my baller ass king size bed having hotel room. I had to work in the morning.
   The next day we drove out to the country to film some stuff surrounding country dude's grandma and then we went to his cabin and property. I preferred his cabin to his mansion. I guess I prefer nature to riches. That's where I'd chill all the time if I was a baller like him.
   I'm about to get to the point of my story. We had an amazing time hanging out by his pond....fishing, shooting off his Barret 50 cal sniper rifle, playing guitar. Just country dudes doing country shit. I could have been hanging out with a group of my old friends.We joked and laughed like old friends.
   But apparently, politically this guy is a big conservative. When showing off his gun he talked about "all the troops over there killing the Taliban for our freedom" and other unintelligent redneck shit. It got me thinking a lot about willful ignorance and the duality of human beings.
   Now, this guy is trying to support a great charity. Even if he doesn't win the quarter million for St. Jude he did a world of good raising awareness for them. But really, if he could drop 14 million on a house, how much could he personally drop on St. Jude. just a thought....maybe he has dropped a shitload. I know he wrote a song and 100 percent of the itunes revenue goes to St. Jude. can't hate on him for that. but here was something i was thinking about:
   I noticed a lot of sports team shirts on the kids at St. Jude. Saw a lot from Louisiana and Alabama. Got me thinking about cancer and how the cancer rates in those two states are a lot higher than the national average because of the horrible environmental practices in those states.  Environmental practices that conservatives support, because putting restrictions on corporations is bad. That's big government, telling those poor corporations what to do. Environmentalists are whackos and if they have to be responsible for their waste and output then they will make less money and making money is what's most important. by these people's logic. So, in a sense by being a conservative, country dude is supporting cancer while, at the same time publicly parading around trying to "stop" cancer. Why not hit it at the source, country dude?
   Wanna talk about cancer? How about from the depleted uranium from the armor piercing shells fired by our troops you're so proud of from those guns that your buddy makes. Oh, those are brown skinned people. And not Americans. fuck those assholes. How dare they? Here's a picture of a deformed Arab baby, courtesy of Uncle Sam. Hey, one less towelhead, right?

Enjoy your cabin in the woods on the lake, Mr. Country dude. If your buddies that you support have their way, it'll all be an industrial wasteland...poisonous...reeking. Soon you won't even be able to eat the fish from your own pond. But hey, it's all about making money, right? I mean, you got yours. You got your money, your wife and kid and all your badass cars. The rest of the world can get fucked.

   I thought about how no one is ever a total dick. They may be willfully ignorant, or just uninformed....but usually you can find some common ground with anyone...and  in the right setting, I can even find friendship with a multi millionaire right wing modern country artist. Maybe therein lies hope for the world. As i wrote that last line, Frankie Stubbs came on and told me "never give up hope".

I've deleted a lot of people on Facebook for their openly dumb politics. I don't want to hear about the politics of greed. You guys are winning. Shut the fuck up and silently gloat. Stop acting like a victim. Eventually, everything sacred will be for sale. I wish you really believed in small government. You only want it when it suits you. Because I'd go you one further and say, "how about no government at all?" Just turn it off for a week. Then I could meet you on the field of battle and lop off your heads with my sword. I would do it for the earth. Go ahead, call me a hippy. I'm here to show you that all liberal tree huggers aren't weak pussies. I don't believe in non-violence and I want your blood. You're so soft. You wouldn't last a day without air conditioning and a fried mayonnaise IV drip. I will burst in your house while you're watching Celebrity apprentice and choking down a Mc Rib and remove your head. Neurosis blaring in my headphones. My steed licks the blood from my steel.  I shit on your god because you shit on mine.

I will cause 12 abortions for every right wing fucktard that opens their mouth.

The Planned Parenthood building is right by my house. I pass it everyday. Every time I do I flip off the people standing out front with their signs saying "pray to end abortion". You know, these pussies took the winter off. I guess their beliefs aren't strong enough to get cold over. I actually have to be careful because sometimes there's people that I know and respect out there. I've been trying to mull over why these people make me so angry for the past year, but now that the talk of cutting federal funding for Planned Parenthood has got all of the fucktards vocal, it's clear to me why I hate these people.

   I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that none of those people standing out on the street with a sign ever protested a war. I bet you wouldn't protest anything that actually mattered. I bet none of them gave a fuck when a corporation filled an entire sea with oil. Yep, I bet you pull right up in to BP and fill up your SUV on the way to get your nails did. I bet you are all Wal Mart shopping, McDonald's eating self righteous motherfuckers who want to appear all holy and spiritual over this non issue. Fuck the living, we're all getting fucked in the ass, but you're standing out in the street so everyone can see how holy you are.

Hey, maybe if you put any effort at all into things that affect the living, we'd be cool with having babies. I'm just barely getting by supporting myself, working a shit job that I hate, that will wear me down, that will make me insane. Hey, let me bring a kid in to this situation. I'm sure they'll grow up healthy and well adjusted in this fucked up ghetto town I live in, smack dab in the middle of corporate disgust, polluted ass, war monger U.S.A. Shit, I'd love to have a family but the world is fucking evil, and it's not the pro choicers that are causing it.

The world is overcrowded. Capitalism has caused us to live so far removed from nature that we have a disgusting glut of humanity. I think that people who choose not to have children until their ready should get a fucking medal. They actually are making a sacrifice. I bet it sucks to have an abortion. If it didn't fuck with you, you'd be a cold blooded motherfucker. The problem lies in our cultures fear of death. Our culture acts like death is the absolute worst thing possible. it's not. Having a quality death beats having a life with no quality. And guess what, I don't believe in your fairy tale god. You can "pray to end abortion" all you want. I pray that I'll win the lottery and you'll all grow dicks out of your forehead but neither is going to happen. Your god is not balancing the budget. So we have to get pro active.

Hey, guess what? The majority of what planned parenthood does is offer contraception, STD screenings and treatment, cancer screenings and other women's health shit. No one wants to be giving out abortions all willy nilly and no one wants to be getting them. They're trying to help people not get pregnant in the first place you shitheaps! You want to do something constructive? Go to Sams' and by one of those 100 pack of rubbers and give them free to high school kids. What about federal funding for free condom dispensers in all high school bathrooms? what about all bathrooms? How about paying for birth control for anyone who wants it instead of the 3 wars we're in and space exploration? How about taxing all the big dumbfuck corporations that are ass raping all of us and make them pay for some shit.

How about federally funding a time machine so I can go back in time and fuck all your mothers and then coerce them into aborting you with my golden tongue. Then the world would be a better place. I dare you to say some shit.