I don't know if it's like this for all writers, but it's like taking a shit to me. It just has to come out or it will build up toxic in my guts. I've been wanting to spew diarrhea with my keyboard, but I've been speeding down the highway and too busy to hit a rest stop. Besides, the last time I hit a rest stop to take a shit I was listening to my headphones and tapping my feet along with the music and next thing i know a big homosexual trucker/ bear guy bursts in and starts sucking my cock. After 10 minutes or so I made him stop. it was starting to tickle.But really, the last few weeks have been a blur. A couple weeks ago I took a job for a week as a production assistant on the show "Celebrity Apprentice". One of the celebrities on the show is a very well known country singer, who I won't name but if you watch the show, it'll be obvious. If you haven't (I haven't watched it. TV is for fucktards) it has something to do with Donald Trump and famous people competing for a cash donation to go to a charity that they are sponsoring. A crew from the show came through town because the country guy's charity is St. Jude Children's research hospital.
I picked up the crew at the airport and we went to st Jude to meet country dude. seemed like a nice enough fella. I was vaguely aware of his music. My knowledge of mainstream country stops with Dwight Yoakum. He walked around the hospital and talked with kids and then played a concert for about 50 people or so. Afterwards the crew got on some dude's private jet and flew to Nashville while me and drew Fleming drove the van with the gear.
Pulling in to Nashville, we stopped at country guy's house to pick up him and the crew. By far the most baller ass house I've ever seen. A $14 million dollar structure made of concrete and steel. pool on the roof. bar in the elevator. Also in the elevator are pictures of him and Johnny cash, him and Merle Haggard, Him and Willie Nelson. Holy shitballs. The room we're hanging out in is actually a small club, with a full bar, stage with badass sound system, mezzanine, huge window looking out at the Nashville skyline.
We go to this authentic Italian restaurant and drop $1300 on appetizers and drinks. Everybody on the crew is cool as shit. total bro down. Afterwards, we hit several bars. At a bar with karaoke, I slayed some Johnny Cash. wishing country dude would have noticed and given me a record deal. I'm sick of working. I went back early to my baller ass king size bed having hotel room. I had to work in the morning.
The next day we drove out to the country to film some stuff surrounding country dude's grandma and then we went to his cabin and property. I preferred his cabin to his mansion. I guess I prefer nature to riches. That's where I'd chill all the time if I was a baller like him.
I'm about to get to the point of my story. We had an amazing time hanging out by his pond....fishing, shooting off his Barret 50 cal sniper rifle, playing guitar. Just country dudes doing country shit. I could have been hanging out with a group of my old friends.We joked and laughed like old friends.But apparently, politically this guy is a big conservative. When showing off his gun he talked about "all the troops over there killing the Taliban for our freedom" and other unintelligent redneck shit. It got me thinking a lot about willful ignorance and the duality of human beings.
Now, this guy is trying to support a great charity. Even if he doesn't win the quarter million for St. Jude he did a world of good raising awareness for them. But really, if he could drop 14 million on a house, how much could he personally drop on St. Jude. just a thought....maybe he has dropped a shitload. I know he wrote a song and 100 percent of the itunes revenue goes to St. Jude. can't hate on him for that. but here was something i was thinking about:
I noticed a lot of sports team shirts on the kids at St. Jude. Saw a lot from Louisiana and Alabama. Got me thinking about cancer and how the cancer rates in those two states are a lot higher than the national average because of the horrible environmental practices in those states. Environmental practices that conservatives support, because putting restrictions on corporations is bad. That's big government, telling those poor corporations what to do. Environmentalists are whackos and if they have to be responsible for their waste and output then they will make less money and making money is what's most important. by these people's logic. So, in a sense by being a conservative, country dude is supporting cancer while, at the same time publicly parading around trying to "stop" cancer. Why not hit it at the source, country dude?
Wanna talk about cancer? How about from the depleted uranium from the armor piercing shells fired by our troops you're so proud of from those guns that your buddy makes. Oh, those are brown skinned people. And not Americans. fuck those assholes. How dare they? Here's a picture of a deformed Arab baby, courtesy of Uncle Sam. Hey, one less towelhead, right?Enjoy your cabin in the woods on the lake, Mr. Country dude. If your buddies that you support have their way, it'll all be an industrial wasteland...poisonous...reeking. Soon you won't even be able to eat the fish from your own pond. But hey, it's all about making money, right? I mean, you got yours. You got your money, your wife and kid and all your badass cars. The rest of the world can get fucked.
I thought about how no one is ever a total dick. They may be willfully ignorant, or just uninformed....but usually you can find some common ground with anyone...and in the right setting, I can even find friendship with a multi millionaire right wing modern country artist. Maybe therein lies hope for the world. As i wrote that last line, Frankie Stubbs came on and told me "never give up hope".
I've deleted a lot of people on Facebook for their openly dumb politics. I don't want to hear about the politics of greed. You guys are winning. Shut the fuck up and silently gloat. Stop acting like a victim. Eventually, everything sacred will be for sale. I wish you really believed in small government. You only want it when it suits you. Because I'd go you one further and say, "how about no government at all?" Just turn it off for a week. Then I could meet you on the field of battle and lop off your heads with my sword. I would do it for the earth. Go ahead, call me a hippy. I'm here to show you that all liberal tree huggers aren't weak pussies. I don't believe in non-violence and I want your blood. You're so soft. You wouldn't last a day without air conditioning and a fried mayonnaise IV drip. I will burst in your house while you're watching Celebrity apprentice and choking down a Mc Rib and remove your head. Neurosis blaring in my headphones. My steed licks the blood from my steel. I shit on your god because you shit on mine.
